The first general assumption is that it’s a remake of the 1984 Alex Cox film “Repo Man,” a new wave/punk classic featuring Emilio Estevez and Harry Dean Stanton as repo men living lives of druggy abandon while the music of Iggy Pop, Circle Jerks and Fear plays in the background. If you’ve never seen it, put it on your Netflix now – it’s a film with addictive energy that makes Emilio’s descent into Mighty Ducks territory all the sadder.

Turns out, though, that “Repo Men” has nothing to do with that film, but is actually a dystopian-future film about a society where artificial human organs are for sale – and, if you don’t pay your bill, for automatic repossession. So while fans of the first film breathed easy, the plot sounds very similar to that of “Repo: The Genetic Opera,” a garish emo-punk opera released last year that achieved semi-cult-hit status, and which I can’t describe in full because I spent nearly three hours after watching it scratching at my eyes and ears with the tenacity of a mountain lion clawing at a dead gazelle trying to remove its sights and sounds from my mind. It was fucking ghastly, like someone took every silly, messed-up idea they had since they were six and threw it up on a movie screen. Consider this: It co-stars Paul Sorvino; Sarah Brightman, the best-selling soprano of all time; and Paris Hilton. Is there any way the three of them make sense together in one project?

After seeing it, the answer is clearly: no.

But while fans of that movie are gearing up the “irate” meter, for me, “Repo Men” is a clear throwback to a classic Monty Python sketch from their film “The Meaning of Life,” a movie the Pythons have described as their least favorite for the subdued creative inspiration that went into making it, but which I find equal to their earlier outlings. There’s a scene in the film called “Live Organ Transplants,” which features John Cleese and Michael Palin ringing a man’s doorbell to inquire, “Can we have your liver?” They then establish that the man has a liver donor’s card – and do their nasty repo business. It’s a classic scene – and remarkably similar (minus its comedy) to the plot of “Repo Men.”

So was “Repo Men” ripped off? Or with organ black markets a reality in certain countries and economic upheaval a societal constant, is it simply one of those creative notions that has a certain inevitability?

Either way, it’s interesting to see who the film will piss off most. Stay tuned – it’s currently scheduled to hit theaters March 19.

No related posts.

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

So March 1 marks the beginning of the next battle in the last night wars, and as for the battle after that? Well, if we all keep our fingers crossed and pray really hard, it just might come in early September, as Conan O’Brien enters the fray on Fox as direct late night competitor # 4 (against Jay, Dave, and Stewart/Colbert.)

In the meantime, here are some thoughts/links on the astounding battle now behind us.

1. ESPN’s Bill Simmons, who correctly predicted that Leno would be back at The Tonight Show helm within a year back in March, tells New York Magazine’s Will Leitch that Conan’s show “sucked” at 11:30, that he was “too whiny” in how he handled it, and that if he does land at Fox at 11:00, he’ll fail there as well.

2. The Los Angeles Times’ Neal Gabler, in a piece that includes some fascinating background on how networks became so focused on younger demographics and why that might be a mistake, calls Leno’s ultimate victory here the revenge of the dorky over the hip.

3. Newsweek’s Joshua Alston lays out a road map for Jay Leno to rehabilitate his image, but unfortunately repeats the now established media fiction that Conan “lost his job.” He didn’t. He quit.

4. Johnny Carson’s longtime head writer says that all the hosts – Dave, Jay, and Conan – could learn something about class from his former boss, who he believes would just tell the whole lot of them to man up.

Related posts:

1. What “The Wire” can teach us about Conan O’Brien, Jay Leno, and the current late night debacle So now, if you believe New York Magazine, the intensity...
2. Does Bob Dylan support Conan O’Brien? As the battle between Conan O’Brien, Jay Leno, and NBC...
3. Kimmel, O’Brien, and the truth about Leno-Hate. Did’ja hear what Jimmy Kimmel said to Jay Leno last...

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

This sentence was spoken last night by Conan O’Brien on his second-to-last Tonight Show. He was referring to the problems in Haiti, but depending on what happens next for him, he might have also inadvertently been referring to members of his staff.

As we’ve all read by now, O’Brien and his reps haggled for days to get every dime they could from NBC for his staff’s severance packages, and Conan himself will donate a large sum – a seven figure amount, according to his management – toward those packages out of his own settlement, which is reported to be around $32 million.

There’s no word on how exactly the severance will break down – given the amount of money involved, maybe each staffer gets six months pay? One year’s worth? More? – but however long it lasts, given both the current weakness of the economy and the generally tough nature of finding jobs in television, there’s no guarantee that every member of his staff will find employment before their severance runs out.

The next month or so will be instructive, of course, as Conan and his reps negotiate with Fox to see if he can become the next – and, if it happens, almost certainly most successful – entertainer to spearhead their late night efforts. But from what we’re reading, affiliate relations, the same thing that ultimately killed “The Jay Leno Show” (and yes, I know, the show also sucked, but I’m just talking about the business end of this right now) makes a late night deal at Fox far from a sure thing.

So let’s imagine for a moment that Fox doesn’t happen for Conan, and his 200+ staffers pound the pavement, seeking to hook up with new shows or other opportunities. With the full force of Hollywood’s sympathy carrying them aloft, there’s no doubt that many of them will find new gigs before the severance runs out.

But will all of them? Chances are, the answer is no, for the simple reason that great jobs in Hollywood are hard to come by. And for those that do get new gigs, how many will get jobs that pay them significantly less than The Tonight Show did?

I certainly hope for the best for all of them – I’ve known several members of his writing staff for years – and for this reason and more, as the world hails the conquering, martyred hero of late night, there’s one nagging question I can’t get out of my head.

If some of his current staffers are still unemployed three, six, twelve months down the line – or, months after whenever the generous severance packages run out, whenever that may be – will at least one of them have the following recurring thought bouncing around his or her head?

“Would 12:05 really have been so bad?”

Yes, NBC insulted the hell out of Conan by pulling the move they did. They behaved without sense or tact, and piled bad decision upon bad decision until they made their network look like Enron and Lehman Brothers rolled into one.

But freely admitting that NBC gave Conan a crappy, insulting choice calls to mind the fact that so many Americans in 2010 are faced with bad choices that have far greater consequences – like, for instance, whether or not to use what little money they have on health insurance.

If it seems an out-of-context comparison, it’s not. Because while, as Conan indicated in his much-lauded statement of defiance, he agonized about the legacy of The Tonight Show in making his decision to leave NBC – a legacy that, according to all the Conan die-hards, has been pretty much dead for almost 20 years anyway – it’s hard to avoid the conclusion that in the end, Conan placed that already-tarnished legacy above the well-being of his staffers.

If the fate of his staffers had been his primary concern, as the narrative of the past few days and statements from his management would have us believe, then the choice would have been simple: take the 12:05 slot, and save every job.

Was 12:05 a crappy option? Absolutely.

But guess what? Life is hard, and filled with crappy options for each and every one of us even in good times – and these are not good times. National unemployment is hovering around ten percent, health care is becoming even more prohibitively expensive every year, and people nationwide are changing careers, taking lower paying jobs, and making the sorts of tough decisions that result in far bigger problems than the loss of a talk show.

The deeper we all delved into this story, the more absurd and lacking perspective it seemed, especially when some began hailing Conan as a hero for recessionary times for the way he stood up to corporate interests. For Team Conan, Coco is a little man taking a big stand.

But not only is this misguided, it’s backwards.

Because while people all over the country were making real choices with real consequences, Conan’s choice was this: move a television show – a show he got paid the kingly amount of somewhere between $10 and $15 million a year to host – to a starting time one half-hour later; or put 200 people out of work while personally walking away with tens of millions of dollars.

He chose the latter.

###

Related posts:

1. What “The Wire” can teach us about Conan O’Brien, Jay Leno, and the current late night debacle So now, if you believe New York Magazine, the intensity...
2. Does Bob Dylan support Conan O’Brien? As the battle between Conan O’Brien, Jay Leno, and NBC...
3. Kimmel, O’Brien, and the truth about Leno-Hate. Did’ja hear what Jimmy Kimmel said to Jay Leno last...

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

Conan O’Brien, therefore, is us – the little guy. Conan is he or she who is mad as hell, can’t take it anymore, and is now rising up to claim what is rightfully theirs.

Hogwash.

Because if we’re looking at this situation realistically, a much better comparison – and one that contradicts the Conan-as-revolutionary meme – comes to us from HBO’s landmark series, “The Wire.”

For those unfamiliar, “The Wire,” which ran for five seasons and is widely regarded as the best dramatic series in television history, chronicled all sides of the drug trade in the city of Baltimore, including the dealers, the police, the government officials and the media. Without turning this into a full-on Wire tribute, suffice it to say that in its breadth and honesty, it is television as art, and if you haven’t seen it, you owe it to yourself to put the series DVD at the top of your Amazon wishlist or Netflix queue.

(Warning: Wire spoilers ahead)

One phrase viewers of “The Wire” became intimately familiar with by series end is “the game,” which is shorthand for the life of drug dealing and murder that they have chosen to live. So when the mother of young drug dealer D’Angelo Barksdale persuades him to take a 20-year prison sentence instead of turning state’s witness for the good of the family, since her brother runs – and she profits handsomely from – the drug empire he works for, it’s accepted as all part of the game. Later, when he turns up dead in prison, that is too.

By series end, the implications of the game are clear. If you choose to play it, you may reap great rewards, but you will probably end up dead or in jail. That’s just how it goes.

But what’s unspoken about the game – and, I believe, one small part of why the show was such an incredible achievement – is that in exposing it with such brazen honesty, it reflected as well on the games in our own lives. Whatever profession you’re in, there are situations you find yourself in, trade-offs and sacrifices you make, and things you do that you may not have done were you able to live your life exactly the way you wanted to. Some of these are well known and oft-discussed, and some may never be mentioned. But we all have a game in our lives, and areas such as politics, the media or show business have games that are particularly intense. Hollywood certainly does, and here’s where the comparison becomes relevant for late night.

The outrage against Jay Leno – claims that he engineered this in some devious fashion, and that Conan has been the sacrificial lamb/victim in all this – boils down to one point of view: that Jay Leno has been playing the game, but Conan hasn’t.

This is naive at best; disingenuous or manipulative at worst. Either way, it’s just wrong.

Because, as I pointed out the other day in “Kimmel, O’Brien, and the truth about Leno-Hate,” Conan O’Brien was just as willing to throw Jay Leno overboard – with no consideration for him or his future – as many assert that Jay Leno is willing to do to Conan now.

When the deal was made in 2004 for Conan to take over The Tonight Show, it was obvious that Leno didn’t want to “retire,” as many are now calling for him to do. He was pressured by NBC, and to attempt to avoid the hassle of the Letterman/Leno battle of the early 90s, he agreed.

But while all this was happening, what was Conan thinking? We can’t see inside his head, of course, but just from what we know of all this, he had to know that:

1. He would be displacing Jay Leno from a job he’d had for over a decade;
2. He would be displacing Jay Leno from a job he excelled at (whatever your thoughts on its content), as his show had been #1 in late night for years;
3. He would be displacing Jay Leno from a job he didn’t really want to leave;
4. He wouldn’t have to do this himself, but would have the toughest lawyers and agents in the game doing his bidding;
5. He would be doing all this for no reason other than his own selfish benefit.

Conan O’Brien wanted The Tonight Show. Jay Leno had it. So Jay had to be displaced. Simple as that.

Conan, from day one of this debacle, has been playing the game. Like Stringer Bell, the ruthless second in the Barksdale organization in “The Wire,” there were people that needed to be displaced in order for him to succeed, and certain unpleasant acts that needed to occur for him to occupy a place of power. When those acts blew back on Stringer – he was gunned down by not one, but two people he had tried to kill – he was not surprised. Conan shouldn’t be either.

Obviously, this is intended as metaphor. I’m certainly not asserting any literal bloodlust on Conan’s part, and I do believe that overall, he’s a pretty nice guy. But he’s not naive, stupid, or unwilling to do the things you need to do to get ahead in Hollywood. In other words, he’s as willing to play the game as anyone else, including Jay Leno.

In “The Wire,” Marlo Stanfield, the dealer who conquers the Barksdales and becomes the new power in the drug trade, murders a mentor named Proposition Joe in cold blood so he can take over his territory. Prop Joe tries to save himself by saying, “I’ll just go away.” Marlo, cold blooded as he is, doesn’t believe that Joe can stay away from the game, and can’t risk having Joe come back on him. So he has his henchman, Chris Partlow, blow Joe’s head off.

Conan in 2004 was like Marlo in one sense. His henchpeople (agents) went to NBC and said, we want Jay’s territory. And they got it. The biggest difference, of course, is that they did let Jay walk away – with millions and millions of dollars. Because that’s how their game is played. Luckily for all in this saga, the rules of the game in Hollywood are much different than the rules of the game on the streets of Baltimore.

But in either place, if you play the game, you know the rules, and you also know that the game may blow back on you. Conan had no problem playing the game in 2004. And if “The Wire” taught us anything, it’s that once you’re in the game, you’re there to stay.

###

Related posts:

1. Does Bob Dylan support Conan O’Brien? As the battle between Conan O’Brien, Jay Leno, and NBC...
2. Kimmel, O’Brien, and the truth about Leno-Hate. Did’ja hear what Jimmy Kimmel said to Jay Leno last...

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

If I were pressured at gunpoint to come up with two more completely different musical acts in sound, craftsmanship, approach and appeal, it would be a close to impossible task. The mystic creative alchemy that led to “London Calling” was a reaction to the explosion of musical norms at the hands of the Sex Pistols, and the deepening poverty faced by British youth. The Clash elevated punk by defying people’s expectations of it, including the punks themselves. In expressing both the political and the personal through styles from rockabilly to reggae to clear-eyed pop, The Clash not only brought the genre one more step toward defiance of the mainstream (Don Letts, who directed the “London Calling” video and who I interviewed for the piece, passed along a statement he heard long ago declaring that “The Sex Pistols would make you wanna smash your head against the wall, the Clash would give you a reason), but also poked a sharp stick in the eye of the “punk police,” those rebellious style mavens who relished punk for the mohawks and safety pins and a touch of the ultra violence, but missed the message about expression and individuality.

And Nick Jonas? Well, would you respect him more if I told you that one of his greatest influences was Elvis Costello? Named his band and his dog after the man and his work. Gotta count for something, right?

No related posts.

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

Kermit, taking in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. Photo courtesy of Macy’s.

Last year, for the debut of the Muppets Christmas special “The Muppets Christmas: Letters to Santa,” I got to interview Kermit the Frog, who was busy editing the special from the swamp he calls home, since “when you edit in alligator-infested waters, you get fewer network notes.” Here’s my interview with Kermit for the Post, wherein Kermit gives me the scoop on the love quadrangle between him, Jane Krakowski, Uma Thurman and Miss Piggy, and reveals the inside story on the sizzling Uma/Pepe The Prawn love affair. Merry Christmas.

And, Merry Christmas again.

And one more time:

Related posts:

1. Muppets + Christmas Carols = Brilliance As a special holiday treat, here’s Beaker, Animal, and the...

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

Photo by cliff1066™

Just wondering…

No related posts.

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.